How We Present
Let's Dance in the New Year (Part I)
by Linda Egenes
Transcendental Meditation for Women Blog Translate This Article
11 January 2016
I have mixed feelings about New Year's resolutions. On the one hand, they're a good excuse to set goals and get my life back on track. My resolutions tend to center on health, mainly because that's a big focus in my life. But I can't help but notice they're all about changing things that are wrong with me. Like ''I will stop eating sugar.'' ''I will lift weights three times a week.'' ''I will get to bed by 10.''
Each of these resolutions implies that I am lacking in some way—like I am currently eating way too much sugar, not building my muscles and not getting enough sleep.
I was thinking about how to make my resolutions stick, and a thought popped into my head: Perhaps these kinds of resolutions fail because they make us face the new year feeling less than inspired.
It occurred to me that maybe if they were a tad more positive and fun, I might actually stick to them. And who knows? They may have a better effect on my life than all the grimly disciplined ''to dos'' of my normal list.
This idea gained momentum for me when I read about Shonda Rhimes' new book Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun, and Be Your Own Person.
If you're like me and the name Shonda Rhimes doesn't ring a bell, never mind—her accomplishments will. As the creator, head scriptwriter and executive producer of Grey's Anatomy and other TV shows . . . she calls herself a typical Type A personality. And until recently she was living a spectacular life on the job, but less so at home.
What spurred her to write the book, she says, was a sharp wake-up call from her sister. ''You never say 'yes' to anything,'' her sister said. This made Rhimes decide to not only say yes more often, but to seek out the very things she was prone to say 'no' to, the very things that scared her. And she ended up standing in the sun and dancing it out, as the book title shares.
I liked this idea of saying yes and immediately started making a list. Instead of focusing on things that scared me, I decided to focus on things that I want to continue doing because they are working for me. And on things I don't allow myself to do because (as I tell myself), I don't have time, don't have money, don't have the talent, etc.
Here's my list so far:
1.) Taking a cue from Rhimes, I say yes to dancing. I've been taking a class in Indian classical dance that has been truly fun and has lots of health benefits too (when you slap your bare feet on the floor, all the nerve endings in your whole body wake up, stimulating your organs and hormones in a really good way). Plus it's an all-women's class, so that's part of the fun. Yet lately, when I moved up to a more advanced class and couldn't keep up with the practice time, I let it go. Yet in thinking it over, even if I practiced 10 short minutes a day, I could return to the class and not fall behind.
And why not say yes to this chance to dance? Why not twirl and swirl ten minutes a day? It's worth a try.
2.) I say yes to taking time to engage in unstructured play for an hour every week—to spending time in nature, wandering without a schedule, to journal or to play with my water colors and colored pencils.
Playing is so so so important, especially if you're in a profession that relies on a fresh, creative mind. For me, playing not only rejuvenates my spirit but gives me new ideas that help me in my work. It's a win-win, so why not say YES to play?
3.) I say yes to getting enough rest. Usually I feel tired by around 9:30 at night. I say yes to the needs of my body and mind. I say yes to paying them more attention. And I say yes to continuing to make time in my day for my twice daily practice of Transcendental Meditation. TM helps me feel happy. It helps me feel rested. It helps my mind think more clearly. And it keeps me grounded to my essential nature, so I stay connected to my best self even when the circumstances around me get challenging or crazy. So I say YES to giving myself this gift even if I'm traveling or with relatives or friends who don't practice meditation.
4.) I say yes to continuing a great exercise routine. Full disclosure—I spent the money I received from my mom for Christmas on a Fitbit HR, and that has shown me that I'm doing well in the exercise realm. Taking a brisk 30-minute walk each morning with my husband in the early morning sunlight sets me up for the day—with just a little more exercise, my daily running around the apartment brings me to the recommended 10,000 steps most days without strain. And the three times a week weight training is making me feel so enlivened and happy. I say yes to continuing all that and more.
In writing these ideas down, in my mind saying yes started to converge with feeling gratitude for the things that are going right in my life. In some ways, I realized, gratitude is a way to find the yes in every experience.
And that is a good thing. I sometimes find myself—when I get stressed or have too many deadlines—wishing my computer didn't take so long to boot up, that I didn't have to wait in line, that there weren't so many mundane tasks to do in a day. If I'm really stressed, I start feeling agitated by other people's lack of speed or efficiency. Or my own lack of whatever.
This is not something I'm proud of. It's a way of wishing life—and myself and the people in my life—were different. And when you start doing that, you can't enjoy the great people and things that are right in front of you.
So now, when I'm waiting in line at the post office or at the grocery store, I'm using the time to think of things and people I'm grateful for, including the clerk who is so graciously serving me at that very moment. I also am starting each day thinking of three things I'm happy about, and ending the day that way too.
In Part II of this post I'll explore the power of gratitude, its influence on brain functioning, and the latest findings on the Transcendental Meditation technique and its impact on happiness and well-being.
Happy New Year!
View article online and see videos: Women and Girls Tell what TM Does for Them and TM optimizes Brain Functioning
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